1. Find Your Niche (Or: What the Hell Am I Even Doing?)#

First things first, you gotta figure out what you’re all about. And I mean really figure it out. The good, the bad, and the “oh god, why did I think this was a good idea?” Here’s how I fumbled through it:

• Soul-Searching: I spent way too much time staring at the ceiling, wondering what I’m passionate about. Turns out, it’s complaining about bad movies. Who knew?
• Market Research: I watched a ton of YouTube videos. For science, of course. Not because I was procrastinating or anything.
• Asking Friends: I annoyed everyone I know by constantly asking, “What do you think I’m good at?” Pro tip: Buy them coffee first.

2. Gear Up (Without Breaking the Bank)#

You don’t need fancy equipment to start. Seriously. Your smartphone is probably good enough. But if you want to step it up a notch:

• Camera: I started with my phone, then “upgraded” to a second-hand DSLR. Still figuring out all the buttons.
• Microphone: Got a decent USB mic. Now my voice sounds slightly less like a dying cat.
• Lighting: Bought a ring light. Now I look like an alien, but at least you can see me.

3. Plan Your Content (Or: Stare at a Blank Page and Panic)#

Content is king, they say. But coming up with ideas? That’s the real challenge. Here’s my highly scientific approach:

• Brainstorming: I write down every idea, no matter how stupid. Trust me, they’re mostly stupid.
• Content Calendar: I try to plan my videos in advance. Usually, I end up changing everything last minute anyway.
• Trending Topics: I keep an eye on what’s hot. Then I put my own spin on it, which usually involves more sarcasm than necessary.

4. Learn the Basics of Video Editing (And Question Your Life Choices)#

Editing is where the magic happens. It’s also where you’ll lose countless hours of your life. But hey, it’s worth it. Kind of.

• Software: Started with free options like DaVinci Resolve. Felt like learning a new language.
• Tutorials: Watched approximately 17,000 YouTube tutorials. The irony is not lost on me.
• Practice: Edited. A lot. Cried. A lot. Repeat.

5. Optimize for SEO (Because Apparently That’s a Thing)#

SEO. Three letters that will haunt your dreams. But if you want people to actually find your videos, you gotta play the game.

• Keywords: Research relevant keywords. Try not to fall asleep.
• Titles and Descriptions: Write catchy titles and descriptions. Resist the urge to use all caps and excessive punctuation.
• Tags: Use relevant tags. No, “please watch my video” is not a good tag.

6. Create a Channel Trailer (Your First Impression. No Pressure.)#

Your channel trailer is like a first date. You want to make a good impression, but you also don’t want to try too hard and come off as desperate. Good luck with that.

• Keep It Short: Aim for 30-60 seconds. Any longer and people will lose interest. Just like in real life.
• Show Your Personality: Be yourself. Unless yourself is boring. Then be someone else.
• Call to Action: Tell people what to do. Subscribe, obviously. But ask nicely.

7. Consistency is Key (Or So They Say)#

Apparently, you need to post regularly to grow your channel. Who knew?

• Schedule: Set a realistic posting schedule. Then watch as life completely ignores your plans.
• Batch Production: Try to film multiple videos in one go. Enjoy looking like a crazy person with multiple outfit changes.
• Buffer Content: Always have a few videos ready to go. For when life inevitably happens.

8. Engage with Your Audience (Even When They’re… Challenging)#

Building a community is crucial. Even if that community is just your mom and that one guy who always leaves weird comments.

• Respond to Comments: Even the weird ones. Especially the weird ones.
• Ask for Feedback: Be prepared for brutal honesty. Try not to cry.
• Live Streams: Interact with your audience in real-time. Pray that your internet doesn’t cut out.

9. Collaborate with Others (Make Friends. Or Frenemies.)#

Collaborations can help you grow your channel. They can also be a great way to make new friends. Or mortal enemies. It’s a toss-up.

• Reach Out: Contact other creators in your niche. Try not to sound like a stalker.
• Guest Appearances: Appear in other people’s videos. Try not to completely embarrass yourself.
• Collabs: Work on joint projects. Prepare for creative differences and passive-aggressive comments.

10. Analyze and Adapt (Numbers Are Your Friends. Sort Of.)#

Data is important. But don’t let it drive you crazy. (Too late for me, but you still have a chance.)

• Analytics: Check your YouTube analytics regularly. Try not to obsess over every view count.
• Feedback: Listen to your audience. But remember, you can’t please everyone.
• Experiment: Try new things. Some will work. Most won’t. That’s showbiz, baby.

🔆 Take away this: If your videos aren’t occasionally making you want to crawl into a hole and never come out, you’re not trying hard enough. Or you’re lying. Either way, embrace the chaos and keep going.

Conclusion#

Starting a YouTube channel isn’t about becoming the next PewDiePie. It’s about creating content you love and connecting with people who appreciate your unique brand of weirdness. And hey, if I can do it, anyone can.

Remember, I’m not an expert. I’m just someone who’s trying to figure this YouTube thing out, one awkward video at a time. If you want actual expert advice, go talk to a real YouTuber or something. But if you’re cool with learning from someone who’s just as confused as you are, stick around. We can be disasters together.

📷 If it goes well, I’ll write a post about my YouTube equipment and setup!

Now go forth and create. And maybe buy a better microphone. Trust me on that one.